It's just a number and it doesn't define me

I've been a little unhappy lately knowing that I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Many people would argue that I don't look like I've gained weight and some might even argue that I've lost weight... To those of you who do, thank you. You know how to make a girl feel good.

But if I'm being honest my pants dont fit the same as they used to and the ever persistent woman pooch/muffin top is too poochy. I'm tired of seeing these rolls. I know I have the power to change it but it's been hard fighting fatigue to get up early and get motivated.

I want to look cute in clothes and this has prevented me from shopping because I don't want to buy larger sizes. I fear this will prevent me from working towards loosing the midsection. Today we went to shop on gift cards and a store I once loved is no longer a love at all. I used to wear a 10 at AE and while I could "fit" in a 12, my big butt truly belonged in a 14. I kept telling myself that it's just a number and it doesn't define me but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt the ego and motivate me more.

I was able to find some cute and flattering clothes tonight to boost my self image and self esteem but I am keeping some pants that are from AE size 10 that I LOVE. These are my motivation pants. I need to fight through the rough days of fatigue to get enough work outs in to start getting more energy and break my vicious cycle. My problem will be getting up before the kids to work out or working out while they crawl and run around me. Challenge? Yes! But challenge accepted! Bye bye pooch!

9 months

Ethan just had his 9 month visit with our pediatrician. His weight changed from 17.9 lbs to 21.2lbs and he is in the 74%.

His height changed from 27in to 29.5in and he is in the 89%.

His head circumference went from 17 to 18 in. And he is in the 71%.


Height and weight combined puts him in the 55%. Dr says Ethan's putting all his food to good use so our hungry little monster can continue to eat like a madman. He also said it was fine if Ethan is rejecting baby food for what we are eating at mealtime.

The kids are looking forward to Christmas. Alli seems most excited about her stocking. It will be here before we know it!