Long day with an emotional ending

I spent the whole day today at a sleep conference. Thankfully I was able to go with Ashlie! I think I would have lost my mind without her! The conference was from 8am to 5:30pm. The speakers were either extremely boring or spoke with so much medical terminology that we couldn't follow what they were saying. Oh well...doesn't matter. I have my CEU credits and that's all that I need!

I rushed home because I also had a personal progress night planned at Krystin's house. I really didn't want to go. I was tired from getting up early and sitting in lectures all day and really didn't want to be out in any severe storms. Krystin wasn't worried about the storms and didn't want to cancel so I felt like I really had no choice but to go since that is my calling at church. So I forced myself to go and after the night we had...I'm glad I went.

I've served in this calling for 3 years and for one reason or another I've never felt that I've been able to bond with the girls to the extent "that I expected" I needed to or wanted to in order to help them. Tonight we encouraged the older girls to mentor the younger girls on their personal progress and Krystin and I floated around from group to group making sure they didn't need any help. I also checked off the girls in their progress. To my surprise, the older girls took charge and really helped the younger girls. I was so proud of them tonight.

I was able to be free to answer questions the girls had, encourage them where encouragement was needed and instruct them on what they might want to do next. The night really turned into one that I was enjoying. Their youth is invigorating and I loved feeding off of that. I finally got to my last set of girls and I know they won't realize it but they impacted me more tonight than I ever expected. Two of my sweet young behives, Carla and Emily, were sitting and chatting with Krystin. Krystin had to leave to help one of the other girls so I took the opportunity to check Emily and Carla's progress. While sitting with them, we got into a discussion about school and some of the pressure the girls are under.

These two sweet 12 year old girls are facing trials and experiences that I hate to see them have to experience. Unfortunately it is a fact of life in the day in age we live. Kids are mean...they aren't raised with values and manners, and our poor youth suffer and live it day in and day out. Carla mentioned that she had had a boy say to her that there was something different about her and another girl at school (who just happens to be another girl from church). This boy told her that it was as if they had a certain glow. Krystin and I both told her this was a wonderful thing to be "different" in a good way. The kids at school may not see their "difference" as a good thing and may pick on them...but it's good to be different and to have values and to stand for those values.

Carla shared with us how she has a 12 yr old friend who got drunk at her 18 yr old cousin's birthday party and doesn't remember what happened afterwards. Next thing she knows, after a few weeks of feeling "weird" her parents take her to a doctor and find out she is pregnant....at 12!!! She also has a second friend who "might" be pregnant. She also has friends at 12 who smoke. Emily is worried about her older sister going to HS next year. She fears it so much that she said she is going to pray every day that her sister is kept safe in school. She shouldn't have to worry about the safety of her sister in school...but this is what our schools have come to. Carla and Emily both expressed how they are called names at school and picked on. Emily....sweet emily...was called a B**** at school....Emily, quiet and shy, meek and mild. It breaks my heart for them.

So I shared with them that people are always going to be mean. We all get picked on. I told them that I know it's hard for them because even 10 years ago when I was in HS I was picked on. Then I got the shock of my life. Emily looked at me with total shock and said "WHAT? You were picked on?" I said yes sweetie I was picked on...and then Emily says, "But why, you are perfect?" I was absolutely floored that she viewed me this way. I didn't realize I had made this impact on Emily. I thanked her for her sweet compliment but admitted that I am no where near perfect and have many faults but it doesn't matter the reason, we all get picked on.

I left the get together tonight with a heavy heart. I wish I could protect these girls...I wish I could make them strong against the trials and temptations that they face. Some days at church I feel as though the girls don't even see me...but after tonight I realize the girls see me more than I thought. They see me as something I don't feel I'm qualified to be seen as. God bless Emily for her sweet compliment. I pray that I can live up to her standard. I realized tonight just how much I love these girls and I hope to God that I can be the example they need me to be as their leader. I pray I am being that example for Alli. These kids face so much in life and I just wish that in some small part that the little interaction I have with them at church can help make them strong to stand against the tidal waves of trials and pain they face.