Excitement and Fears

Wednesdays are quickly becoming a day for me that emphasizes excitement and fear. Well maybe not fear so much as anxiety. For many years I dreamed about becoming a mother...maybe even fantasized about what it would be like to have a loving devoted husband and together bringing a child into this world. I thought how wonderful it would be to have that motherly bond. I think the one thing I failed to "fantasize" about are all the fears/anxieties that go along with having a child. I am in no way regretting our decision to have a child but as each Wednesday comes and goes, I'm seeing the baby's due date nearing. I would be a complete liar to say I am ready! I feel so unprepared to be a mother. Maybe that's what I need in life right now...a little excitement! HAH. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. Now I'm getting that opportunity...ready or not. I've been trying to not be so worried about the financial concerns of my quitting and trying to just prepare to be a mom. One of these days I will have to stop and realize that I won't be a full time employee anymore. That in itself is going to be something I'm not used to. I'm going to have to completely readjust my sleep schedule and become normal again. :) I've never been good at change...but this is a good change. I think one of the things I'm most excited about is seeing Ben become a father. I watch him with Caitlin and it lights my soul with joy. He loves his niece so very much and I can only fathom how much more that will develop when it is his own little girl. 10 short weeks from now and we will get to meet her. How quickly time flies!